Children Need A Father's Love And So Do We

Today my wife Kirsten and I became parents of a teenager. Our oldest daughter has officially entered the great unknown. While today carries special significance for us, turning the page on a new chapter of parenting, I'm reminded of the importance of reiterating our love for all our children, whether it is their birthday or not. We make a big deal of birthdays in our home, and sometimes the other kids feel a bit jealous or insecure with the spotlight focused on their sibling.

I remember one birthday several years ago. With all the sweet innocence of a child, one of my daughters gently touched my hip as I washed the last cup from the night's dinner. "Daddy, do you love us more when it's our birthday? I mean, do you love whoever's birthday it is, more than the other kids on that day?" Sensing her sincerity, I immediately assured her that this was not the case. With my hand on her little shoulder, I told her that "daddy loves all of you the same, no matter whose birthday it is." I explained that my love doesn't increase for the birthday child simply because we give gifts and celebrate them on the anniversary of their birth. And conversely, my love does not wane for the other children who must sometimes "endure" watching a sibling enjoy this day of celebration and all it entails.

Even when I am angry at them for their blatant disobedience or when my heart aches because I must steer them through discipline, my love for them as my children never changes. It is unconditional, its course steady and unwavering like a ship on a calm sea. Though we constantly reassure them of the contrary, children sometimes wonder about their parent's love. At times they sense the love pendulum is swinging.

There are so many things a father's love gives and so many things that a lack of it destroys. I believe that God gives us the greatest example of a father's love. His love is sacrificial, patient, kind, humble, honest, forgiving, faithful, and selfless. It is constant and unchanging. Those are the things I not only want my life to be about, but I want to make sure my kids know and feel from me. Unfortunately, I am not perfect like God, which includes my fatherhood. I consistently fall short. Though God assures us of His love in His Word, we sometimes feel like little children, touching our Father in Heaven on his hip, whispering, "Daddy, do you love me as much as you love them?"

We compare our life to another's and think, "But Father, IF YOU loved me..."

We endure horrific tragedy or injustice and, through tear-stained eyes, cry out, "Father, DO YOU love me?"

We face the due consequences of our rebellious decisions and turn our back, raise our fists and shout, "Father, YOU DON'T love me!"

We celebrate life's victories and gratefully proclaim, "Father, YOU MUST love me!"

His love for us is everlasting, encompassing every circumstance, catastrophe, and condition. It never fails and always seeks good for us. It is not always accommodating to our wants, but it promises to give us what we need. It is not only evidenced in perceived success but ever-present in hardship. It is given, not earned, gracious while just, simple yet incomprehensible, and foreign to the paradigm of this world. It pursued us, though we hated it.

Standing at the kitchen sink, my left hand engulfing her tiny shoulder, the child in me identifies with my daughter's struggle. I look into her pretty brown eyes and smile, "If she only knew...I would die for her!"

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